Everything is in flow here in Northern Michigan. Buckets of water have flowed off the snow-covered roof. That water, along with the melting snow banks is finding its way down the hills to my driveway. I no longer walk to the mailbox, I wade. The maple sap is flowing too. Drive by a good stand of sugar maples and you'll see them all connected with plastic tubing, ultimately leading to the sugar house where the steam is rising. And the creek in my backyard is bursting over its banks.
In the 14 years I've live on the creek, it has taught me many lessons. One of the most important is the nature of flow.
Flow is not always the shortest path. When the creek encounters resistance, like a rock, a downed tree or the dam the beavers are building just down stream from me, it does not go through that block. The creek is not concerned with keeping the path short. It goes around, over or underneath the resistance as a way to stay in flow. Yes, over time, it wears down the resistance, but that's not its primary concern. So like the creek, when we take the path of least resistance, we too flow.
The creek is always moving toward lower elevations, downhill, rather than fighting the uphill battle. Now going downhill does not have a particularly positive ring to it. But image how wonderful it could be to reach your every destination without effort.
We've all experienced flow in our lives. Athletes call it being in “the zone.” Those that meditate talk about being in the gap, the space, between thoughts. As my friend, Dave Patrick of Healthy Enterprise says, “We all know when we are in flow. Everything is effortless. We're on purpose and we have total alignment between our vision and values. And we're taking right action to move forward, focused on the now. I think we're in agreement that if feels pretty darn good!”
Whether we are standing in a creek or we are experiencing flow internally, it does feel pretty darn good. And we are better able to take direction based on “hints.” The more we are not flowing, ticked off, disappointed or frustrated, the more we tend to grab for reason and logic. Reason and logic might save us in an emergency, but they never move us. These “hints” I call intuition. And when I'm in flow, I hear the hints.
Is your vision something you mentally design and, if done right, leads to flow? Perhaps. But it might take more than a few tries to get it right. I like to believe that vision is something that comes to you when you are in flow? My suggestion—go stand in a creek!
"Everything flows; nothing remains." ~Heraclitus
What's not flowing in your life? Money? A relationship? A major transition? If you've not taken me up on my complimentary coaching session offer, maybe now is the time. That's a “hint,” my friends. Take it!
We're getting our first feel of spring. It's only the first of March here in Northern Michigan so we're defining “spring weather” as the occasional 40+ degrees at midday. That's enough. Long underwear is no long a daily routine. I'm not even bothering to put my coat on to run to the mailbox. One of the purely delightful things I find about this time of year is that the same temperatures we had back in November felt so much colder. Now, in March, 40 degrees is a heat wave! The other thing I love about this time of year is there is still way too much snow on the ground for me to feel the pressures of yard work, window washing and the usual spring chores. So it's spring without the work. Now when I take a breath of fresh air, I can smell it too. All this fills me with wonder.
Wonder:
~To think or speculate curiously
~To be filled with admiration, amazement or awe; marvel
~A cause of surprise, astonishment or admiration
~A feeling of surprised or puzzled interest, sometimes tinged with admiration.
So what is it about wonder that is so remarkable and valuable? I think when you are experiencing wonder, several things happen.
1. You are more receptive and open
2. You are more likely to see and feel the possibilities
3. Wonder jumpstarts your creativity
4. And in a state of wonder, you are very, very attractive
There are many places and things that awaken that feeling of wonder in everyone who has the chance to experience them. But we can't go to the Grand Canyon, Egypt's Pyramids, the Leaning Tower of Pisa, Machu Picchu, the Great Barrier Reef, or Victoria Falls every day. So how do you add a little wonder to each day? Well, what amazes you when you take the time to really notice it? Just like my elation at smelling the air for the first time in three months, there are little wonders in our daily lives. An intentional and focused noticing of these small wonders can make the difference between a ho-hum day and one that is full of creativity, amusement and possibilities.
It's noticing that is key. Many of these small wonders are things we see every single day. We don't experience the wonder however until we take the time to notice. It does not take long. Pick anything common in your environment that calls to you. Then focus your gaze and thoughts on that one thing for just a few short minutes. It's a new way of noticing your child, a friend, the spring flowers, the winter icicles, a bird at the feeder, a deer, a lake, the fog, the rain, the sunshine, a patch of grass, or even your pet. Just take two or three minutes to remain focused enough to experience the wonder in one simple thing. Then get on with your day. Do that 10 times a day and you've spent only 20 to 30 minutes each day calming yourself, shifting your attitude, and becoming more receptive, attractive and creative. Notice how much more alive you feel. Imagine, 30 minutes each day in awe. Now that it itself is a small wonder with big rewards.
I don't take the simple daily events for granted. Especially if they are related to nature in some way. There's GOLD in every moment.
I'm wandering again. I tried for awhile to pull these three observations together and make them one strong, meaningful article. No can do. They're definitely "stand alones." May one or more inspire you.
One:
We've got snow! The driveway, is getting smaller as the snow banks invade it from both sides. The roof is holding a good two feet of snow and I'm getting a little moved off each day. It's alarming to look out the windows over the kitchen sink and see one of the dogs staring back at me.
But it has not been all work. The dogs have insisted we walk and so the artist, Mother Nature, inspires me daily. It's amazing what she can do with a little snow piled on some upturned tree roots, a snow-covered creek with just a hint of flow, and some sunshine filtering through the hemlock and cedar with just enough wind to send sparkling diamonds scattering off the tree branches. Wow. Do we need any more than that to sustain us?
"If you are missing out on the natural joy and wisdom of life, it is because you have been taught to ignore it." ~Michael J. Cohen, Reconnecting With Nature
Two:
Last Saturday I went ice fishing. This year's exceptional snowfall has created a warm blanket on top of the lake. The result is about 8 to 12 inches of slush on top of the more solid lake ice. It's unnerving to step on to the lake when conditions are like this. Intellectually, I know as I plunge through the top layer of slush that my foot will ultimately stop on solid ice and I will not find myself submerged in the lake. But with each step, my body was startled into reacting by bending my knees, crouching low and spreading my arms out full in order to save myself. Coming back off the lake after dark magnified the sensation.
So right now you're saying “Then why does she do that!?” I do it not to trust myself, have faith in something outside of me, or any of the other more pure reasons. No, the uncertain feelings I put my body through were just a way to get my juices flowing. It's the middle of winter, you know. I needed a way to break up the seasonal blahs and create just enough of a dangerous illusion to shift me into feeling very much alive again.
"The most exotic destination of all is the one to be found within your own adventurous spirit." ~Jeff Salz, The Way of Adventure
Three:
A few days ago I was having a virtual conversation with a few folks about the Law of Attraction. The question was asked, do you think it's better to share your intentions and desires with others as a way to get them out there, make them more solid, and use others to help you move forward? Or is it better, as Wayne Dyer suggests in his book Manifest Your Destiny, to keep your intentions private?
I agree with Dyer. Partly because it's difficult for others, especially those who love you, to hold your intention purely.
But the main reason I do not share my intentions is because my intentions change at the speed of light. One of the reasons the Law of Attraction works so well for me is because I allow myself to revise my intentions on the fly. Today's intention often becomes bigger and better in a short period of time. Sharing my original intention would slow me down. Ultimately, I want to be moving at the pace where I manifest something and then realize that was my intention rather than creating an intention and then waiting for it to happen.
One exception. I meet regularly with 3 other coaches who don't give a hoot about what I say I intend. Nor do I care about their stated intentions. The result is a safe place to say it out loud and then let it or something better happen. Find a coach or person who can do that for you and things will happen fast! Those closest to us or those who take our intentions too seriously often care too much and muddy the playing field.
Thanks Tom, Anna and Karen!
So for February:
1. Get yourself in nature, now!
2. Do something that gets the juices flowing.
3. And share your intentions with those who care only about the conversation it generates.
Happy New Year! One of my missions is to help you all drop your New Year's Resolutions. So this month I'm revising and repeating my New Year's Theme article. It's the Chinese Year of the Monkey, after all. The year of Cleverness, Deception, Travel, Risk and Novelty! Nothing to "resolve" this year, my friends. Time for a little Monkey Business!
It's easy to make resolutions in the excitement of the New Year and the guilty awareness that you ate your way through the holidays. Sure, last year's resolution didn't make it past the middle of January, but hey, this year's going to be different, right?
So what is your New Year's resolution? Lose weight? Make more money? Spend less? More time with your family? Relax more? These are old favorites. “Old,” because they reoccur every year. We pull them down off the shelf we stuck them on last February, dust them off, and vow commitment this year. Ugh!
Here's the problem with resolutions. They don't make us FEEL good! We struggle because the resolution isn't right for us in the first place. It is full of inner conflicts that we don't see. Most New Year's resolutions try to “fix” something. We focus on what is missing or wrong, making the resolution a weak commitment.
But what if you approached your resolution playfully? It's the Year of the Monkey after all. Ask yourself, “What do I REALLY want?” There's a theme there. If you have resolved to lose weight, perhaps your theme is “Let's Give Them Something to Talk About.” It's not all about weight, is it? If your resolution is to make more money, maybe your theme is “What a Wonderful World” so you can feel abundance through gratitude first and then get creative about making money. And what about more time with your family? Perhaps a theme of “Getting to Know You” is more to the point. By the way, song titles are great themes. When you need a boost, just plug in the CD and dance!
A theme is meant to honor something. It focuses not on the completion but the doing. It's adventurous.
Maria turned 50 in November, 2002. In December she wanted to talk about reviving her old “resolution” to relax more. Maria has high standards at work and puts in 110% daily. But she knew something was missing when her friends stopped calling. “We just knew you'd be too busy” was the feedback. Maria had created a “busy-woman” reputation.
The only evidence Maria could give me that her old resolution, relax more, might work this year was that she had turned 50. “Not enough!” I said. I pointed out that resolving to relax more would just induce stress. We started playing with a theme.
A week later Maria called excited. Her theme was “Farming for Fun at Fifty.” Farming because she wanted to get to the root of things once and for all. Fun because she realized the old resolution of “relaxing” was merely a medication for a symptom. Fun was the cure. And, well, Fifty to honor the one thing Maria felt would make the difference in 2003.
Maria spent most of 2003 creatively immersed in her theme. She took a three-day weekend and hiked fifty miles. Another weekend produced a fifty-mile bike ride. She bought a box of crayons and created, framed and hung a picture of every fun thing she did. She read 50 novels by the end of the year. Maria has racked up one lunch a week away from work. “Getting to the root of things” also meant that Maria wanted to take a look at what was important to her. At the beginning of the year she donated 50 hours of her time, in one-hour increments, to her local Humane Society.
And here's the unexpected reward. Maria is due for a hefty bonus this year. When I asked about this, Maria said she was not so harried and more approachable at work. That made a huge difference in the way she was perceived. Coworkers are collaborating with her. And, Maria's doctor just informed her she has lost 21 ½ pounds. She's no longer using food for relaxation. Losing weight and the bonus were not her goals. They're just the little surprises that come from honoring her theme.
Maria and I are starting to talk about her 2004 theme. One of the interesting outcomes of this year's theme is that she's recognizing how creative she can be and wants to explore that more. Perfect for the Monkey year, don't you think?
Your Turn:
A Theme is Big. But don't lump a bunch of resolutions together, listing everything you've ever wanted to change. Just take one old resolution and keep asking yourself, “What do I REALLY want?” until you have something that expands you rather than making you a monitor of your behavior.
Word it Carefully. Resolutions are about willpower and tend to be expressed in bland terms. Themes are about experimenting and creativity and are expressed in a way that gets to the heart of what energizes you.
Embrace the Unknown. Trust that your theme will inspire. You don't have to create a list of everything you want to do on January 1. Just play with your theme and watch what happens as 2004 unfolds.
“I'm working all day and
I'm working all night
To be good-looking,
healthy, and wise.
And adored, contented, brave and well-read.
And a marvelous hostess,
fantastic in bed.
And bilingual, athletic,
artistic-----
Won't someone please stop me?” ~Judith Viorst
“May all your troubles during the coming year be as short as your New Year's resolutions.” ~Anonymous
“’Discipline.’ What a thankless word that is—and how beside the point.” ~Julia Cameron
Well the fishing boat is cleaned out and covered up. The portable ice shanty has been cleaned up and minor repairs have been made. I've got a new blade on the ice auger. I'm holding off putting canoes away for the winter. One more paddle before the river starts carrying ice floes would be nice. I've had a long two-week break from walking the dogs in the woods as we hunkered down through firearm deer season. I've gone internal and the level of chatter in my head has hit overwhelming proportions. So I've got some insights to share…
There are some unfortunate places your mind can take you when you become overly dependent on it as your source of entertainment. It starts with simply thinking about things. But too much thinking without moving your body and your mind tends to want to do something with all those thoughts. To organize them in some way. So it begins calculating, talking all those random thoughts and trying to put some order to them. Calculating brings home its close friend, judging for a little sleep over. I mean, after all, how can you begin to calculate if you're not making judgments about the validity of one thought over another. So you give judging free rein and before you know it, you're placing judgment not only on past and present occurrences, but also on a whole host of future occurrences that may or may not happen.
If you don't recognize the signs of this downward spiral and introduce some physical movement, before you know it worry will come to your party with new games to play. It happens pretty quickly. As soon as calculating decides that something you thought about is possible and judging decides it's not good, unless you intercept, worry decides to focus on it. At the point that you've worried something enough, controlling will move in to center court and attempt to handle the situation.
So what's the prescription? The two best solutions I know are, moving your body, as I've mentioned above, and meditation. Combine the two and you've got what's called “moving meditation.” Two very popular moving meditations are Yoga and Tai Chi. Both help you to quiet your mind through movement. But you don't have to run out and join a class to start your own moving meditation routine.
For physical fitness, we're told a minimum of 20 minutes of aerobic exercise three times a week. Better still, 30-45 minutes three or four times a week, or best of all, 45 minutes every day. So for example, if you are walking, think about how your feet are landing on the ground with each step and how all the joints of your legs and arms and even your toes are moving as you walk. Focus on the details of your movement and become aware of how all your body parts are working. Your mind then turns to the regular sequence of your movement instead of potential monsters, real or imagined.
Not only will your walking become more graceful and fluid, but the way you handle your life will be graceful and flowing too. What have you got to lose? After all, Dorothy and her friends were obviously not practicing moving meditation on their walk down the yellow-brick road and look where that got them!
“A Zen abbot once set before an American aspirant two sets of small leg-less Japanese dolls, one pair weighted in the bottom part, the other in the head part. When the pair weighted in the head were pushed over, they remained on their sides; the ones weighted in the bottom bounced back at once. The abbot roared in laughter over this illustration of the plight of Western man, forever stressing the thinking at the expense of his totality.” From a very old book on my shelf, The World of Zen.
“When the spirits are low, when the day appears dark, when work becomes monotonous, when hope hardly seems worth having, just mount a bicycle and go out for a spin down the road, without thought on anything but the ride you are taking.” ~Arthur Conan Doyle, in a 1896 article for Scientific America
There's a moment in every day that Satan cannot find.” ~Blake
