Lists

My friend David, a coach from Denver, demonstrates that it's more about what you've done than what you didn't do.

For most of us, lists are a part of our daily activities. Sometimes it's a new list and sometimes we're just adding to the list we created the day before. It's very satisfying, I admit, to cross things off a list. It's darn right joyful if it's a big item! But how much pain did we go through seeing items on our list day after day until they are accomplished?

Think about it. With each new day, our accomplishments get removed, crossed out, axed, tossed and what we did not get done gets to stay on the list. And often we think of things to put on the list faster than we can cross off those items we have accomplished. When the paper gets full, we transfer those things we have not accomplished to a clean sheet that gives us room to add to the list. All this, I propose, is a little backwards. We seem to be giving greater attention to what we did not get done than what we did get done.

So, a couple of years ago I threw away all my lists and gave up the idea of starting new ones (although I do admit to relying on a computer check list I keep to pack for a canoe/fishing/camping trip. I’ll never again forget the rain suit on a 10-day paddling trip). Giving up lists was very freeing. I recovered a greater sense of faith that I would do, on any particular day, exactly what needed to be done without having to control it with a list. I also became trustful that those “big items” would not be forgotten.

But I like the way David takes his faith to the next level. David does create lists. But each day he creates his SDE (Significant Daily Events) list. What go on David's list are only those things he has accomplished that day. So David is creating a list of things he has accomplished during or at the end of his day rather than a list of things to do at the beginning of his day. He includes everything that is significant to him. Thus play and work are a healthy mix on his list. He may create a list that acknowledges dinner with family, a walk, several coaching conversations, catching up on emails, making several business calls and lunch with an old friend. At the end of the day, David can reflect on all the has accomplished. David says, “I have gained such perspective with the SDE concept. I am doing more daily stuff of value.”


“One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time” ~André Gide

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious” ~Albert Einstein

“Adventures don't begin until you get into the forest. That first step is an act of faith.” ~Mickey Hart


Today, throw away all your list. Relinquish control and surrender to the fact that you know, on any particular day, what needs to be done.

Take it one step further and create a Significant Daily Events list. Acknowledge how much you have accomplished!

Walking The Dog

I've been a little preoccupied as I just had some minor surgery. But apparently major enough that I lost about a week. First I tried sitting down and writing anything. Not much came out. Then I took to talking out loud to myself. This was better. At least I was expressing. But I was still stuck. Finally, as a last resort, I began talking to the dog. “So Jersey,” I said, “what should we (I always use “we” when talking to the dog) write about this month?” “I don't know,” she said, “but let's got for a walk.” Remembering that I had neglected our walks since the surgery, we went. The next day, I once again said, “Jersey, what should we write about?” “I don't know,” she said, “but let's go for a walk.” I obliged. One day later, was no different. I had written nothing, but we walked. On our Friday walk I began to notice that while I had not yet written a thing, I was feeling better about it. By the end of our walk on Saturday, I felt good and didn't care that I had written nothing. On Sunday, when I started writing, the topic became clear.

The Top Ten Reasons to Take Your Dog for a Walk

1. As Jersey says, “It blows the stink off.”
Jersey means it a little more literally than I do but I did notice that as I was getting more and more worried about writing, I was beginning to smell.

2. It keeps you putting one foot in front of the other.
If it's true that movement creates momentum and momentum creates flow, then putting one foot in front of the other, no matter how mindless, is literally the first step in movement and towards flow.

3. It's a moving meditation.
While my body was doing all the work, my mind was allowed to wander in directions it needed to go and finally become silent.

4. It's cheaper than therapy.
The dog's a great listener.

5. Your body will look and feel better.
If an improved cardiovascular system isn't enough incentive, think about your legs and butt in shorts and swim suits this upcoming summer season.

6. You'll notice things only your dog can point out.
Jersey's hearing and sense of smell are far superior to mine. I've come to rely on her to point out wildlife I would have normally walked right by.

7. In Northern Michigan one of the first signs of spring is the open sign at the Dairy Queen.
The hot fudge sundae you'll now be tempted to stop for seems little more justified.

8. After a long winter, dogs, like the rest of us, are a little testy.
A daily walk can save you repair bills on furniture, boots and shoes, and anything else you dog uses to cure her winter blues. Jersey's personal favorite is playing “keep away” with my $200 hiking boots.

9. If you've been walking your dog regularly all winter, spring yard clean up is a little easier.

10. By developing a strong bond with your dog, she may one day share the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

“It's impossible to walk rapidly and be unhappy.” ~Dr. Howard Murphy

“Most of the obstacles would melt away if instead of cowering before them, we should make up our minds to walk boldly through them.” ~Orison Swett Marden

“Walking is man's best medicine.” ~Hippocrates

“Walking is also an ambulation of mind.” ~Gretel Ehrlich

"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience."
~Woodrow Wilson

Do you have a hard time saying No? Many of us do. So what do we do instead?

We say Yes and then beat ourselves up for being weak.

We say Yes and resent the individual we said yes to.

We say Yes and then don't do what we committed to and feel guilty or even create reasons why it was okay to not honor our commitment

We say Yes and then complete the task we committed to with less than our best effort because we didn't really have the time to make the commitment in the first place.

So why do we do it? For most of us, saying no is contrary to what we have been taught. It's not polite to say no, even if saying yes is damaging to us.

I learned to say no by trusting my gut. When I am asked to commit to do something, I asked myself how it would feel to say yes. A heaviness or uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach keys me into the fact that I really want to say no and I used that opportunity/feeling to bow out of the situation.

And here's the interesting thing, once I started saying no more often, I found myself giving more and doing more for others. But this time the giving was with less effort, less emotion and more joy.


“A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.” ~Groucho Marx

“Drawing on my fine command of language, I said no.” ~Unknown


Say “No” to at least one request of you each day this week. Don't give excuses. How did it feel? What did you do with the time you freed up for yourself?

A New Year's Theme

Well, it's a New Year. What do you really, really want?

What is your New Year's resolution? Lose weight? Make more money? Spend less? Make more time for your family?

A resolution says, “here's what I want to change.” It's meant to fix something. It begins with a loss and we are, therefore, forced to focus on what we are missing. Our ego takes over. The resolution is a reminder of our failures because it focuses on what we do not have. We suffer a terrible loss when our resolutions die in mid January.

But what if you approached your resolution as your playful child would? Ask yourself, “what do I really, really want?” There's a theme there. If you have resolved to lose weight, perhaps your theme is “a healthy life.” If your resolution is to make more money, maybe your theme is “abundance in all you do.” What about spending less? Maybe what you really, really want is “a creative lifestyle.” And more time with your family? Perhaps a theme of “playing hard” (my personal favorite) is more to the point.

A theme says, “here's what I really, really want.” It's meant to honor something. We focus on what lies ahead. A theme say “play with me.” Our child kicks in. The theme lies not in the completion but in the doing. It focuses on the process and a sense of adventure.


“Ring out, wild bells, to the wild, wild sky...
The year is dying in the night...
Ring out, wild bells, and let him die.
Ring out the old, ring in the new...
Ring out the false, ring in the true.”
~Alfred Lord Tennyson

“May all your troubles during the coming year be as short as your New Year's resolutions.” ~Anonymous


Look at your New Year's resolution and ask yourself, “What do I really, really want?” Create a theme that honors your answer and integrate it into everything you do this year.

Effortlessness Through Passion

I spent the weekend before Thanksgiving in the woods with friends. I went to camp in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. Lots of time and space! Being in nature does that best for me. I more easily find time to connect with myself. Nature is my personal passion.

I saw very old cedar, pine and hardwoods standing tall and quiet, waiting for whatever comes their way. The fire's flames sometimes flickered, sometimes settled down to coals and sometimes burst into a roaring blaze. But it was always there to warm me. The last day of my visit, we got up early and went to the woods in the fog. While sitting quietly, waiting, the coyotes began to howl. We could track their movement by their continuous yipping and howling.

What are you passionate about? It could be nature, art, great food, music, or spending time with those close to you. Whatever it is use that passion to learn more about yourself. Most of us learn about ourselves when a physical or emotional emergency enters our lives. We struggle thorough the crisis and come out the other end knowing more about who we are and how we react. While very insightful, this kind of learning is costly. Using our passions can be effortless and can, over time, even decrease the emotional and physical emergencies that we encounter.

That weekend I was reminded that I can stand tall and quite and there really is nothing to do but wait. I remembered I have an internal flame that sometimes flickers, sometimes roars, and sometimes burns down to low coals, but always provides me with a sense of warmth and energy. Yes, that flame even goes out on occasion. But I learned that I have the power to rekindle it. And, I took inventory of all that I have to howl about and know that to let loose makes me more of who I am and helps others know where I'm at.


“When you pursue your passion, you are 100% focused and living by your values.” ~David A Burnet

“A moment's insight is sometimes worth a life's experience.” ~Oliver Wendell Homes

“If you are seeking creative ideas, go out walking. Angels whisper to a man when he goes for a walk.” ~Raymond Inman

“The act of discovery is not in finding new lands, but in seeing with new eyes.” ~Marcel Proust

“When the spirits are low, when the day appears dark, when work becomes monotonous, when hope hardly seems worth having, just mount a bicycle and go out for a spin down the road, without thought on anything but the ride you are taking.” ~Arthur Conan Doyle, in a 1896 article for Scientific America


Put yourself in an activity or place that you are passionate about, that inspires you, and just listen to your internal desires.

Thanks to Jim, Drew and Maggie.