I grew up a child of the woods. I never really washed myself clean (except maybe in swim class). I excelled at catching turtles and frogs and throwing moss and swamp scum at my friends. I took for granted nature and all its lessons.
It was only after I grew up and met so many other adults who did not “take to the wilds” that I realized that extracting oneself from nature, while giving the illusion of possessing more control, tends to leave a person a little off.
Now, wilderness for me is an instant transfusion. The ground is grounding. A lake, river or stream puts me in flow. I feel most alive when I'm not in charge, when I'm pitched from the canoe, slip and slide down a muddy trail, get drenched in a torrential downpour, or get windblown on an island. To me, the outdoors is immediate and inescapable, a little fearful. It stirs me up.
Look out from an untouched lake, a bluff, a waterfall or a canyon and my “issues” seem small. It always seems a little surprising to find that after a personal upheaval of the mind or heart, everything in nature continues exactly the same, authentic. You are never so still as when you see a deer, never so elated as when you crest a peak and view the vista, never so alive as when you hear a wolf howl or a loon call, never so entertained as when you watch an otter or the northern lights.
Nature is authentic. It is exactly what it seems to be.
“When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world.” ~John Muir
“A human being is part of a whole, called by us the “Universe,” a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest—a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. The delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” ~Albert Einstein
“A man is related to all nature.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Nature teaches more than she preaches. There are no sermons in stones. It is easier to get a spark out of a stone than a moral.” ~John Burroughs
Start small with a swim in the ocean or a lake or a walk in a state park. Throw some friggin’ moss. Get your hands dirty. Stink.
Saturday, June 03, 2000
Sunday, May 28, 2000
Fears, Beliefs and Risk
Once I believed I could not write. I know exactly where that came from, my fifth-grade teacher and a college composition instructor. They held such authority that later I discounted any good comments I received about my writing. I came to believe that I would never write for pleasure or work. Then I reached the point last year where I wanted to write this newsletter. Not because I wanted to become a writer, but because I wanted to share my thoughts with you. I went through all kinds of physical trauma trying to get the first newsletter out. I was confronting an old belief with a new desire. What was safe about not achieving my goal? Well, I’d never again have to face criticism about my writing. Fortunately, my want and some good coaching got me to the point where I'm able to stick my neck out and take this risk to share with you. Whew!
What are you afraid of? Many of my clients tell me they want to work less, make more money, have more time for their family, play more, pursue hobbies and passions, build a business, write that book, and take better care of themselves. They tell me that they are not accomplishing these things because they have not learned the right skills. Usually it's about how to better manage time or people. In my case, I believed I didn't have the skill to write. I ask them, “What's safe about not achieving the goal?”
Remember how fearless we were when we were very young? Your beliefs are the combination of people, circumstances and events that have had an effect on your life. What you believe today is often a combination of what you heard from mom, dad, teachers, friends, the media and events in your life. And consciously or unconsciously, your beliefs affect your behavior. So if you want something, but can't seem to attain it, before you decide it's about time, circumstances or learning a new skill, check in with your body and see if there is some stress around what you say you want. If so, then you are probably confronting a belief. That's good! You're in for a change.
When our beliefs get in the way of not going after what we want, we relinquish our power, we become a victim. Acknowledging our own power can be a risk. But without risk, growth just does not occur, as we have no opportunity to shatter old beliefs. To step outside of a belief is to take a risk. And to take a risk is to change your life. As Julia Cameron writes in her book, The Artist's Way, “We have all heard that the unexamined life is not worth living, but consider too that the unlived life is not worth examining.”
“All fear that exists is really a fear of change.” ~Deepak Chopra
“Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. The moment you know how, you begin to die a little.” ~Agnes De Mille
“We cannot escape fear. We can only transform it into a companion that accompanies us on all our exciting adventures. . . . Take a risk a day—one small or bold stroke that will make you feel great once you have done it.” ~Susan Jeffers
“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it you will land among the stars.” ~Les Brown
Take one old belief and then put yourself in a creative activity outside of your self-image. Make it playful and allow yourself to be imperfect. Start small. Combine it with something you are good at.
What are you afraid of? Many of my clients tell me they want to work less, make more money, have more time for their family, play more, pursue hobbies and passions, build a business, write that book, and take better care of themselves. They tell me that they are not accomplishing these things because they have not learned the right skills. Usually it's about how to better manage time or people. In my case, I believed I didn't have the skill to write. I ask them, “What's safe about not achieving the goal?”
Remember how fearless we were when we were very young? Your beliefs are the combination of people, circumstances and events that have had an effect on your life. What you believe today is often a combination of what you heard from mom, dad, teachers, friends, the media and events in your life. And consciously or unconsciously, your beliefs affect your behavior. So if you want something, but can't seem to attain it, before you decide it's about time, circumstances or learning a new skill, check in with your body and see if there is some stress around what you say you want. If so, then you are probably confronting a belief. That's good! You're in for a change.
When our beliefs get in the way of not going after what we want, we relinquish our power, we become a victim. Acknowledging our own power can be a risk. But without risk, growth just does not occur, as we have no opportunity to shatter old beliefs. To step outside of a belief is to take a risk. And to take a risk is to change your life. As Julia Cameron writes in her book, The Artist's Way, “We have all heard that the unexamined life is not worth living, but consider too that the unlived life is not worth examining.”
“All fear that exists is really a fear of change.” ~Deepak Chopra
“Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. The moment you know how, you begin to die a little.” ~Agnes De Mille
“We cannot escape fear. We can only transform it into a companion that accompanies us on all our exciting adventures. . . . Take a risk a day—one small or bold stroke that will make you feel great once you have done it.” ~Susan Jeffers
“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it you will land among the stars.” ~Les Brown
Take one old belief and then put yourself in a creative activity outside of your self-image. Make it playful and allow yourself to be imperfect. Start small. Combine it with something you are good at.
Monday, April 10, 2000
Lists
My friend David, a coach from Denver, demonstrates that it's more about what you've done than what you didn't do.
For most of us, lists are a part of our daily activities. Sometimes it's a new list and sometimes we're just adding to the list we created the day before. It's very satisfying, I admit, to cross things off a list. It's darn right joyful if it's a big item! But how much pain did we go through seeing items on our list day after day until they are accomplished?
Think about it. With each new day, our accomplishments get removed, crossed out, axed, tossed and what we did not get done gets to stay on the list. And often we think of things to put on the list faster than we can cross off those items we have accomplished. When the paper gets full, we transfer those things we have not accomplished to a clean sheet that gives us room to add to the list. All this, I propose, is a little backwards. We seem to be giving greater attention to what we did not get done than what we did get done.
So, a couple of years ago I threw away all my lists and gave up the idea of starting new ones (although I do admit to relying on a computer check list I keep to pack for a canoe/fishing/camping trip. I’ll never again forget the rain suit on a 10-day paddling trip). Giving up lists was very freeing. I recovered a greater sense of faith that I would do, on any particular day, exactly what needed to be done without having to control it with a list. I also became trustful that those “big items” would not be forgotten.
But I like the way David takes his faith to the next level. David does create lists. But each day he creates his SDE (Significant Daily Events) list. What go on David's list are only those things he has accomplished that day. So David is creating a list of things he has accomplished during or at the end of his day rather than a list of things to do at the beginning of his day. He includes everything that is significant to him. Thus play and work are a healthy mix on his list. He may create a list that acknowledges dinner with family, a walk, several coaching conversations, catching up on emails, making several business calls and lunch with an old friend. At the end of the day, David can reflect on all the has accomplished. David says, “I have gained such perspective with the SDE concept. I am doing more daily stuff of value.”
“One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time” ~André Gide
“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious” ~Albert Einstein
“Adventures don't begin until you get into the forest. That first step is an act of faith.” ~Mickey Hart
Today, throw away all your list. Relinquish control and surrender to the fact that you know, on any particular day, what needs to be done.
Take it one step further and create a Significant Daily Events list. Acknowledge how much you have accomplished!
For most of us, lists are a part of our daily activities. Sometimes it's a new list and sometimes we're just adding to the list we created the day before. It's very satisfying, I admit, to cross things off a list. It's darn right joyful if it's a big item! But how much pain did we go through seeing items on our list day after day until they are accomplished?
Think about it. With each new day, our accomplishments get removed, crossed out, axed, tossed and what we did not get done gets to stay on the list. And often we think of things to put on the list faster than we can cross off those items we have accomplished. When the paper gets full, we transfer those things we have not accomplished to a clean sheet that gives us room to add to the list. All this, I propose, is a little backwards. We seem to be giving greater attention to what we did not get done than what we did get done.
So, a couple of years ago I threw away all my lists and gave up the idea of starting new ones (although I do admit to relying on a computer check list I keep to pack for a canoe/fishing/camping trip. I’ll never again forget the rain suit on a 10-day paddling trip). Giving up lists was very freeing. I recovered a greater sense of faith that I would do, on any particular day, exactly what needed to be done without having to control it with a list. I also became trustful that those “big items” would not be forgotten.
But I like the way David takes his faith to the next level. David does create lists. But each day he creates his SDE (Significant Daily Events) list. What go on David's list are only those things he has accomplished that day. So David is creating a list of things he has accomplished during or at the end of his day rather than a list of things to do at the beginning of his day. He includes everything that is significant to him. Thus play and work are a healthy mix on his list. He may create a list that acknowledges dinner with family, a walk, several coaching conversations, catching up on emails, making several business calls and lunch with an old friend. At the end of the day, David can reflect on all the has accomplished. David says, “I have gained such perspective with the SDE concept. I am doing more daily stuff of value.”
“One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time” ~André Gide
“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious” ~Albert Einstein
“Adventures don't begin until you get into the forest. That first step is an act of faith.” ~Mickey Hart
Today, throw away all your list. Relinquish control and surrender to the fact that you know, on any particular day, what needs to be done.
Take it one step further and create a Significant Daily Events list. Acknowledge how much you have accomplished!
Tuesday, March 28, 2000
Walking The Dog
I've been a little preoccupied as I just had some minor surgery. But apparently major enough that I lost about a week. First I tried sitting down and writing anything. Not much came out. Then I took to talking out loud to myself. This was better. At least I was expressing. But I was still stuck. Finally, as a last resort, I began talking to the dog. “So Jersey,” I said, “what should we (I always use “we” when talking to the dog) write about this month?” “I don't know,” she said, “but let's got for a walk.” Remembering that I had neglected our walks since the surgery, we went. The next day, I once again said, “Jersey, what should we write about?” “I don't know,” she said, “but let's go for a walk.” I obliged. One day later, was no different. I had written nothing, but we walked. On our Friday walk I began to notice that while I had not yet written a thing, I was feeling better about it. By the end of our walk on Saturday, I felt good and didn't care that I had written nothing. On Sunday, when I started writing, the topic became clear.
The Top Ten Reasons to Take Your Dog for a Walk
1. As Jersey says, “It blows the stink off.”
Jersey means it a little more literally than I do but I did notice that as I was getting more and more worried about writing, I was beginning to smell.
2. It keeps you putting one foot in front of the other.
If it's true that movement creates momentum and momentum creates flow, then putting one foot in front of the other, no matter how mindless, is literally the first step in movement and towards flow.
3. It's a moving meditation.
While my body was doing all the work, my mind was allowed to wander in directions it needed to go and finally become silent.
4. It's cheaper than therapy.
The dog's a great listener.
5. Your body will look and feel better.
If an improved cardiovascular system isn't enough incentive, think about your legs and butt in shorts and swim suits this upcoming summer season.
6. You'll notice things only your dog can point out.
Jersey's hearing and sense of smell are far superior to mine. I've come to rely on her to point out wildlife I would have normally walked right by.
7. In Northern Michigan one of the first signs of spring is the open sign at the Dairy Queen.
The hot fudge sundae you'll now be tempted to stop for seems little more justified.
8. After a long winter, dogs, like the rest of us, are a little testy.
A daily walk can save you repair bills on furniture, boots and shoes, and anything else you dog uses to cure her winter blues. Jersey's personal favorite is playing “keep away” with my $200 hiking boots.
9. If you've been walking your dog regularly all winter, spring yard clean up is a little easier.
10. By developing a strong bond with your dog, she may one day share the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
“It's impossible to walk rapidly and be unhappy.” ~Dr. Howard Murphy
“Most of the obstacles would melt away if instead of cowering before them, we should make up our minds to walk boldly through them.” ~Orison Swett Marden
“Walking is man's best medicine.” ~Hippocrates
“Walking is also an ambulation of mind.” ~Gretel Ehrlich
"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience."
~Woodrow Wilson
The Top Ten Reasons to Take Your Dog for a Walk
1. As Jersey says, “It blows the stink off.”
Jersey means it a little more literally than I do but I did notice that as I was getting more and more worried about writing, I was beginning to smell.
2. It keeps you putting one foot in front of the other.
If it's true that movement creates momentum and momentum creates flow, then putting one foot in front of the other, no matter how mindless, is literally the first step in movement and towards flow.
3. It's a moving meditation.
While my body was doing all the work, my mind was allowed to wander in directions it needed to go and finally become silent.
4. It's cheaper than therapy.
The dog's a great listener.
5. Your body will look and feel better.
If an improved cardiovascular system isn't enough incentive, think about your legs and butt in shorts and swim suits this upcoming summer season.
6. You'll notice things only your dog can point out.
Jersey's hearing and sense of smell are far superior to mine. I've come to rely on her to point out wildlife I would have normally walked right by.
7. In Northern Michigan one of the first signs of spring is the open sign at the Dairy Queen.
The hot fudge sundae you'll now be tempted to stop for seems little more justified.
8. After a long winter, dogs, like the rest of us, are a little testy.
A daily walk can save you repair bills on furniture, boots and shoes, and anything else you dog uses to cure her winter blues. Jersey's personal favorite is playing “keep away” with my $200 hiking boots.
9. If you've been walking your dog regularly all winter, spring yard clean up is a little easier.
10. By developing a strong bond with your dog, she may one day share the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
“It's impossible to walk rapidly and be unhappy.” ~Dr. Howard Murphy
“Most of the obstacles would melt away if instead of cowering before them, we should make up our minds to walk boldly through them.” ~Orison Swett Marden
“Walking is man's best medicine.” ~Hippocrates
“Walking is also an ambulation of mind.” ~Gretel Ehrlich
"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience."
~Woodrow Wilson
Tuesday, February 15, 2000
Do you have a hard time saying No? Many of us do. So what do we do instead?
We say Yes and then beat ourselves up for being weak.
We say Yes and resent the individual we said yes to.
We say Yes and then don't do what we committed to and feel guilty or even create reasons why it was okay to not honor our commitment
We say Yes and then complete the task we committed to with less than our best effort because we didn't really have the time to make the commitment in the first place.
So why do we do it? For most of us, saying no is contrary to what we have been taught. It's not polite to say no, even if saying yes is damaging to us.
I learned to say no by trusting my gut. When I am asked to commit to do something, I asked myself how it would feel to say yes. A heaviness or uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach keys me into the fact that I really want to say no and I used that opportunity/feeling to bow out of the situation.
And here's the interesting thing, once I started saying no more often, I found myself giving more and doing more for others. But this time the giving was with less effort, less emotion and more joy.
“A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.” ~Groucho Marx
“Drawing on my fine command of language, I said no.” ~Unknown
Say “No” to at least one request of you each day this week. Don't give excuses. How did it feel? What did you do with the time you freed up for yourself?
So why do we do it? For most of us, saying no is contrary to what we have been taught. It's not polite to say no, even if saying yes is damaging to us.
I learned to say no by trusting my gut. When I am asked to commit to do something, I asked myself how it would feel to say yes. A heaviness or uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach keys me into the fact that I really want to say no and I used that opportunity/feeling to bow out of the situation.
And here's the interesting thing, once I started saying no more often, I found myself giving more and doing more for others. But this time the giving was with less effort, less emotion and more joy.
“A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.” ~Groucho Marx
“Drawing on my fine command of language, I said no.” ~Unknown
Say “No” to at least one request of you each day this week. Don't give excuses. How did it feel? What did you do with the time you freed up for yourself?
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